Following last week’s Easter chocolate coma, a new curse has struck me down.
Yes lads as we transition into the summer months, our old friend, who brings gifts nobody wants like your Aunt Maggie, is back.
Say hello to a sunshine-filled horrible next 4 months.
Symptoms will include a blocked nose – which will make you sound like a man when coupled with an itchy throat but don’t worry too much about this one as a husky voice is apparently sexy (although perhaps not with accompanying runny nose).
Watery eyes – all those who seem to be above the clutches of hay fever’s evil grasp will ask you why you are crying (I’m not crying, my eyes are watering due to the high amounts of pollen currently circulating in the air).
And therefore you will be asked upwards of 57 times a day at which point you may just be crying for having to repeat the explanation (maybe get a sign?).
Or perhaps that winged eyeliner you perfected this morning, is now a black messy stain on the side of your face due to your watery eye symptoms, makes you look slightly unhinged and now Dave from Accounts will never go on a date with you *additionally cries*.
Oh but worst of all is the persistent coughing and sneezing. All day, all night and repeat. And not only does the coughing and sneezing begin to hurt like hell as your throat becomes red raw with the consistent hacking cough, it annoys everyone else in your vicinity.
In the queue at the supermarket?
People will turn the nose up at you, slightly edge away and wonder why you didn’t decide to do online shopping today.
In a lecture at university?
Everyone will turn round to look at you in disgust as this was the morning they actually made it to class and were damn determined to learn at least one thing in return for the £50,000 debt they are drowning under. That is until you turned up and meant the professor had to stop mid sentence so you could have a coughing fit every 5 seconds.
In bed at home?
Your partner will at some point through the summer months have lost patience and a significant amount of sleep leading to them not paying attention at work, not filing that super important report and getting fired.
See everyone hates you and your hay feveryness. Go home, hide under a cover and wait for it all to be over.
Do you know what I mean?